Interviews, 1st day of school, and being a mom oh my!

So this week is going to be a lot of first for us. First time I am venturing out to seek a part time job being a mom( a little scary I would have to say!). Braden is starting his first day of pre-k on Tuesday and has the open house on Monday( a little sad knowing that my once 3lb baby is now entering into school!).



I am so excited for Braden to be starting school and being around other kids and potential friends! He's got a backpack thanks to his Nana and we've already been school shopping for clothes and shoes and all that is left is for Tuesday to get here! We go on Monday with him for the open house at 10:15 and we get to meet the teacher and see his classroom but on Tuesday is his first "offical" day of school where we drop him off. He is so ready for this, he has been for quite some time now and I am just so thrilled for him, he's going to grow so much this year!!



So you are all probably wondering what I am talking about with the job. As some of you know I have been a stay at home mom since Braden was born. I worked up until the day I was admitted to the hospital for the severe preeclampsia and then I took my 3 months maternity leave and worked part time in the before and after school program at my school. I worked about 10 hours if that a week until Braden was 9 months old and have stayed home since then. Braden is now 4 and Alexa is 9 months old and it's starting to get tight with money and I think it's going to be good to get a job. Not only for the money but for me as a wife, mom and person. I've been having mixed emotions about this feeling bad that I may have to put Alexa in a daycare or a sitter but I know we would relax better if I had a job and it'll be good for her since she's such a mommy's girl and needs that experience of being away from mommy and knowing it's okay. Now I would just like to clarify that Chris had not ONCE asked me to do this, it's been all on my own. I've been getting a little worried and I would like to have a little extra money. I don't want anything full time, just part time. I have a couple places that I think I will be able to take Alexa with me to work which is a plus! That's the jobs I REALLY want!!

So, please if you will pray that I find a job that God wants me to have and one that will fit with our schedule and life.

I just need to let it out!!!!

So yesterday was Braden's 4 year check up at the Dr's. I knew what was going to happen at this appointment but yet I wasn't ready to "hear" it all. The words Autism just haunt me and now they are becoming the reality. Although it's not a severe case but it's still being said. I know that he can get help but as I've said before it still sucks to hear!

Good news though is that Braden is being seen by an behaviorist therapist tomorrow at 1230pm!! They told us when making the appt. to plan to be there for 2 1/2 hours with paperwork and the initial evaluation. Luckily my mom is coming down to be with us for this and lend her ears and most of all support! Braden also has an appt. with an OT on the 8th of Sept. It's a lot to handle but we can do it with God's help, friends and family!

4 years already

August 22nd 2009!!!!!!

November 2007

Mommy and Braden in the NICU

Chris and Braden in the NICU

Braden in the NICU

It's been 4 years since I gave birth to my wonderful miracle baby boy. It was 4 years ago that I was laying in a hospital bed with my blood pressure reading 195/125, swelling like a giant balloon and hearing the Dr.'s say that we must deliver because the unborn baby and I could die. It was not what I expected to happen as a first time mom but it was the reality. I gave birth to my wonderful son- Braden Gregory Coolman on August 22nd 2005 at 9:20pm by emergency c-section. Braden weighed in at 3lbs 11.5 ounces and 18 1/2 inches long. It was then that our lives changed, it was then that we were affected by the horrible pregnancy disease called Preeclampsia and we all were never the same since then.

Today I am looking at my preschooler and think how I am glad he is here today with us because I know many women and families who don't get that chance because of preeclampsia. I am thankful and so Blessed for my 3lb wonder because I know women who can't conceive a baby on their own. Saying that Braden is a miracle is an understatement. The day Chris and I met we knew we would be together forever and knew that we wanted children right away, we wanted it but it wasn't going to happen for us as easily as we hoped. Braden was our Clomid baby and we thank God everyday for the medical intervention of that! It's at every birthday that we are not just celebrating his birth day but we are celebrating that he is here and he survived all that he went through at birth.
So my baby boy you are indeed my miracle and will forever be my baby and you are an inspiration to me with your strong willingness to never give up and always giving your best!!!

Braden started Gymnastic's!

For the last 6 months or so I've been toying with the idea of having Braden been in an athletic sport. It came down to either soccer or Baseball but I just couldn't decide. Braden is what I would call a perfectionist to put it lightly and so I was hesitant to put him in anything because of that. I was just too afraid that if he didn't do it right he would get mad and feel bad and I know that sports are not what they were when I was a kid growing up, they are way too competitive now! I started looking into tumbling because he's a boy and needs to get all the energy out(lol!). I researched some places in the area and found a great one and Braden LOVED it! Yesterday we went for the first time as a trial class to see how I like it as the mom and how he liked it as the kid. He loved being around the other kids and running around and doing cartwheels, somersaults and jumping on the trampoline. I really believe that we may have found his match:)

His teacher's were really nice and very positive, something Braden needs. This gymnastics's studio is all about having fun with gymnastics's in a non-competitive way- YAY!!

I can't say more positive things about the experience, well one. It was mainly my fault though I take him there and on the way there he falls asleep he wakes up and is ready to go. Then it's over and he was SUPER mad that we were done and had to go home. I think the meltdown had all to do with the fact that it was dinner time and he was sweaty, tired and hungry. So, note to self MUST PACK FOOD FOR CHILD!!

When we got home that night Braden showed Chris all his new "tricks" as he likes to call them. He showed him how to do the somersault, the splits and the bridge. It was so great to see and with all that's been going on with Braden with his sensory and OCD this is what he really needs. I mean we haven't told Braden " The Dr. thinks you are OCD and have sensory dysfunction disorder" but it's just good for him to be with other kids and be "normal" Heck, maybe it's more for us either way it's a good thing for him and we love seeing him so happy and excited about it. Right before I got online to blog he was pretending to be in gymnastics's class and I was his teacher, gotta love it!

Our counseling session

That felt good! Last night Chris and I had one of our pastor's over for dinner and we talked about our relationship with Chris' parents. As most of you know and as I have mentioned here and there on this blog that it's not the greatest! We talked a lot about how Chris parents are victims and pretty much have led that lead their entire lives, it's always someone else's problem or someone else did it not you.



To make a long story short Chris and I for a long time will be holding our hand at guard to them, we need to. If they are rude, we will let them know. We have to call them on things because for so many years we have not and it's just gotten worse and worse and well it's just not healthy! We eventually will talk to them but when is the question-we just don't know and that's really okay with us. Time is what we need right now. We used to feel bad that we weren't talking to them or seeing them because of the kids but if you take the kids out of the picture we really could care less when we will see them again. That's how bad the relationship is!!! It sucks but it is the reality of it all. Braden knows his grandparents and Alexa she doesn't but she's only 8 1/2 months old. Sadly Braden hardly asks about them not because we have the issues we do with them but just because he hardly sees them and I think for him at the age of almost 4 it's if you can't see it it's not there type of thing. At least that's how Chris and I see it. We will mention them time and time to Braden but we don't go into detail and our feelings about them. If Braden asks about them I tell him with my feelings aside- you have to for the kids sake they will make their own decision about their Grandparents one day without my help.



So Chris' assignment is to write a letter to his mom and dad that he won't be sending but for him as a therapeutic practice. Chris is actually looking forward to this from what I can see. I think it's going to really help him get all is anger and frustration out that he has with his parents because believe me people he's got LOTS!!!



C. the Pastor, was really helpful to us last night I think it was the fact that he's actually been through this himself with his own mom and that he can lend an outsiders perspective on it all. He was talking about how it's okay to not have a relationship with them right now and that you really have to do what' s best for yourself, your relationship with one another as husband and wife and for the kids. Right now not talking to them and digesting this all is what's best for us all Chris has better focus when he doesn't have his parents in his life, sad but true!



Right now we are too emotional to talk to them but one day we will be ready and when that time comes we will have the set rules where our relationship will go. Now, they may not like it but that's okay but it will be the way it's going to be. For us as a couple and parents to our two wonderful children we have to be this way.

Detour

Detour- that was the topic of the sermon today at Church and it was a good one. Let me first say that we haven't been to Church all summer and for those of you who have been readying my blog and those who are family you know that it's been one crazy summer for us. None the less it's no excuse but still we made it to Church this morning and it was good!

The pastor was talking about Detour that happen in our lives and that the Lord puts them there for us to learn something and to grow as Christians. Chris and I have certainly have detours in the last 3 days to be exact we've had 2!

The fist one is finding out that from everything I have told the pediatrician about Braden he believes he has OCD and Sensory dysfunction disorder. Hearing those words is hard to hear especially when it's your child. You want to have this typical normal child and then someone tells you something is wrong. I know these things can be fixed and helped but still it's hard to hear. That's a detour knowing that we might have to change the way we parent, talk, or do things with Braden. It's a detour that we weren't expecting, well most detour's you don't expect to take unless your GPS knows of them!:P) It's one we are willing to take and learn along the way. Together we can make it to our "new" destination and grow and learn about OCD and Sensory dysfunction disorder. I know if we learn how to help Braden we just won't grow as a better person and parent but Braden will become a better kid because of the detour in front of him.

The second detour we've had is Chris' parents. As some of you know, I really haven't said much on my blog about this but to other's privately. We haven't spoken to Chris parents since January and they haven't seen us since Alexa was 2 weeks old and she is now 8 1/2 months old! Luckily Braden and Alexa have their Nana and Papa in their daily lives even though they live 3 1/2 hours away( my parents). I had to call Chris' mom on Friday because the pediatrician needed some family history and Chris didn't know of any. Of course as I would suspect his mother wants to know when they can see us and so forth. So know we feel that we should open up and start talking to them, we haven't yet but it's in our mind and heart that we need to. They need to know what's been brewing in Chris heart for so long and how they treat him. Whenever it is that we come to terms with them we know that the Lord is going to direct in the direction we need to go to have a better relationship with them. It's sad that Braden and Alexa hardly know them but yet on the other hand we as their parents need to protect them. Whatever happens in the end we know the Lord will help us and that we will grow from this.

I never thought of detours like this before and I think I'll think twice when I come to one on the road and instead of getting angry that I'm going to be late to where I need to be I can look at the beautiful scenery! Heck, maybe I'll even find a new clothing store or even even a house for sale!:)

PPD,OCD, and Sensory dysfunction disorder

What do all these mean? Well they didn't mean anything to myself, my husband, my 8 month old daughter or my almost 4 year old son until today.



For the last 4 months now Chris and I have been seeing signs of different things Braden has been doing that have caught our eye. For examples, he won't go into any store that has glossy tile screams and demands to be put in the shopping cart. I don't know about any of you who have a 4year old but they are heavy and don't need to be sitting in a cart. He won't eat certain foods due to there texture. Can't me mooshy so forget about banana's, jello, pudding or yogurt! His bed sheets have to be a certain way if they are off by the crease you are in for it, have to change his sheets to a different one and oh if there is a rain drop size of urine on his underwear he has to change not just his underwear but his entire clothing for that day! There are many, many things that he does that have been sending reg flags to Chris and I and so a call to the Dr. is what we did.



I got "the phone call" today and the words PPD, OCD and Sensory dysfunction disorder were said. Braden is being referred to a Occupational Therapist(OT) and a Pediatric Psychologist. We already have an apt. on the 25Th of this month for his 4 year checkup. This is all so new and not what I thought we would be getting ourselves into as we approach his 4th birthday. Braden is such a sweet, caring, intelligent young boy and I don't want anything to get in his way of having a normal childhood. Chris and I want what is best for him and will do anything in our power to help him.



This is all so new to us right now and as you can imagine I am running on adrenaline!! I am trying not to worry but easy said than done 1. I am a mother and 2. I like the Internet, if you get my drift. It's so hard not to google all of these labels and freak out when you read the worst case scenarios!!!

I keep going back to what my sister wrote me in an email today



It's tough because you want your child to be perfect, and then someone tells you something is not right. But you are doing the right thing; checking it out and finding help. Remember, you didn't do anything. Braden is a happy, smart kid with a mom, dad, and sis that love him just the way he is.
xoxo



I know that this is all new and that I shouldn't be going by EVERYTHING the Dr. told me today on the phone but I also do know what my child does and says and that it's not "normal" The best thing that could come from this is that he only has one of those things and then the worst that could come from this is he has everything. Either way I want all the tools in front of me to better help my child. I want to be prepared for anything that might come Braden's way and be there for him and support him.

For those of you who are reading this and follow my blog please pray for us and we go through this as a family.

Updates will come!