Our counseling session

That felt good! Last night Chris and I had one of our pastor's over for dinner and we talked about our relationship with Chris' parents. As most of you know and as I have mentioned here and there on this blog that it's not the greatest! We talked a lot about how Chris parents are victims and pretty much have led that lead their entire lives, it's always someone else's problem or someone else did it not you.



To make a long story short Chris and I for a long time will be holding our hand at guard to them, we need to. If they are rude, we will let them know. We have to call them on things because for so many years we have not and it's just gotten worse and worse and well it's just not healthy! We eventually will talk to them but when is the question-we just don't know and that's really okay with us. Time is what we need right now. We used to feel bad that we weren't talking to them or seeing them because of the kids but if you take the kids out of the picture we really could care less when we will see them again. That's how bad the relationship is!!! It sucks but it is the reality of it all. Braden knows his grandparents and Alexa she doesn't but she's only 8 1/2 months old. Sadly Braden hardly asks about them not because we have the issues we do with them but just because he hardly sees them and I think for him at the age of almost 4 it's if you can't see it it's not there type of thing. At least that's how Chris and I see it. We will mention them time and time to Braden but we don't go into detail and our feelings about them. If Braden asks about them I tell him with my feelings aside- you have to for the kids sake they will make their own decision about their Grandparents one day without my help.



So Chris' assignment is to write a letter to his mom and dad that he won't be sending but for him as a therapeutic practice. Chris is actually looking forward to this from what I can see. I think it's going to really help him get all is anger and frustration out that he has with his parents because believe me people he's got LOTS!!!



C. the Pastor, was really helpful to us last night I think it was the fact that he's actually been through this himself with his own mom and that he can lend an outsiders perspective on it all. He was talking about how it's okay to not have a relationship with them right now and that you really have to do what' s best for yourself, your relationship with one another as husband and wife and for the kids. Right now not talking to them and digesting this all is what's best for us all Chris has better focus when he doesn't have his parents in his life, sad but true!



Right now we are too emotional to talk to them but one day we will be ready and when that time comes we will have the set rules where our relationship will go. Now, they may not like it but that's okay but it will be the way it's going to be. For us as a couple and parents to our two wonderful children we have to be this way.

Detour

Detour- that was the topic of the sermon today at Church and it was a good one. Let me first say that we haven't been to Church all summer and for those of you who have been readying my blog and those who are family you know that it's been one crazy summer for us. None the less it's no excuse but still we made it to Church this morning and it was good!

The pastor was talking about Detour that happen in our lives and that the Lord puts them there for us to learn something and to grow as Christians. Chris and I have certainly have detours in the last 3 days to be exact we've had 2!

The fist one is finding out that from everything I have told the pediatrician about Braden he believes he has OCD and Sensory dysfunction disorder. Hearing those words is hard to hear especially when it's your child. You want to have this typical normal child and then someone tells you something is wrong. I know these things can be fixed and helped but still it's hard to hear. That's a detour knowing that we might have to change the way we parent, talk, or do things with Braden. It's a detour that we weren't expecting, well most detour's you don't expect to take unless your GPS knows of them!:P) It's one we are willing to take and learn along the way. Together we can make it to our "new" destination and grow and learn about OCD and Sensory dysfunction disorder. I know if we learn how to help Braden we just won't grow as a better person and parent but Braden will become a better kid because of the detour in front of him.

The second detour we've had is Chris' parents. As some of you know, I really haven't said much on my blog about this but to other's privately. We haven't spoken to Chris parents since January and they haven't seen us since Alexa was 2 weeks old and she is now 8 1/2 months old! Luckily Braden and Alexa have their Nana and Papa in their daily lives even though they live 3 1/2 hours away( my parents). I had to call Chris' mom on Friday because the pediatrician needed some family history and Chris didn't know of any. Of course as I would suspect his mother wants to know when they can see us and so forth. So know we feel that we should open up and start talking to them, we haven't yet but it's in our mind and heart that we need to. They need to know what's been brewing in Chris heart for so long and how they treat him. Whenever it is that we come to terms with them we know that the Lord is going to direct in the direction we need to go to have a better relationship with them. It's sad that Braden and Alexa hardly know them but yet on the other hand we as their parents need to protect them. Whatever happens in the end we know the Lord will help us and that we will grow from this.

I never thought of detours like this before and I think I'll think twice when I come to one on the road and instead of getting angry that I'm going to be late to where I need to be I can look at the beautiful scenery! Heck, maybe I'll even find a new clothing store or even even a house for sale!:)

PPD,OCD, and Sensory dysfunction disorder

What do all these mean? Well they didn't mean anything to myself, my husband, my 8 month old daughter or my almost 4 year old son until today.



For the last 4 months now Chris and I have been seeing signs of different things Braden has been doing that have caught our eye. For examples, he won't go into any store that has glossy tile screams and demands to be put in the shopping cart. I don't know about any of you who have a 4year old but they are heavy and don't need to be sitting in a cart. He won't eat certain foods due to there texture. Can't me mooshy so forget about banana's, jello, pudding or yogurt! His bed sheets have to be a certain way if they are off by the crease you are in for it, have to change his sheets to a different one and oh if there is a rain drop size of urine on his underwear he has to change not just his underwear but his entire clothing for that day! There are many, many things that he does that have been sending reg flags to Chris and I and so a call to the Dr. is what we did.



I got "the phone call" today and the words PPD, OCD and Sensory dysfunction disorder were said. Braden is being referred to a Occupational Therapist(OT) and a Pediatric Psychologist. We already have an apt. on the 25Th of this month for his 4 year checkup. This is all so new and not what I thought we would be getting ourselves into as we approach his 4th birthday. Braden is such a sweet, caring, intelligent young boy and I don't want anything to get in his way of having a normal childhood. Chris and I want what is best for him and will do anything in our power to help him.



This is all so new to us right now and as you can imagine I am running on adrenaline!! I am trying not to worry but easy said than done 1. I am a mother and 2. I like the Internet, if you get my drift. It's so hard not to google all of these labels and freak out when you read the worst case scenarios!!!

I keep going back to what my sister wrote me in an email today



It's tough because you want your child to be perfect, and then someone tells you something is not right. But you are doing the right thing; checking it out and finding help. Remember, you didn't do anything. Braden is a happy, smart kid with a mom, dad, and sis that love him just the way he is.
xoxo



I know that this is all new and that I shouldn't be going by EVERYTHING the Dr. told me today on the phone but I also do know what my child does and says and that it's not "normal" The best thing that could come from this is that he only has one of those things and then the worst that could come from this is he has everything. Either way I want all the tools in front of me to better help my child. I want to be prepared for anything that might come Braden's way and be there for him and support him.

For those of you who are reading this and follow my blog please pray for us and we go through this as a family.

Updates will come!

relaxing and being a mom don't mix!!

I am finding more and more that relaxing and being a mom and wife do not mix. With that said it's taking a tole on my body, I keep getting SICK!!! Last week I got an ear infection got put on antibiotics and all was well...NOT! Sunday rolls around the 2nd to last day of the antibiotics and I develop a sore throat and I still have it although it's getting better. Last night was one of the worst nights I had. My daughter Alexa was up every 30-45 minutes screaming and as I type I can hear her now( have fun with that sweetie!). We took her to the Dr. thinking she had an ear infection since this was how her brother acted at this age and he had one. Nope just blisters on her throat just give her Tylenol and she will be better in a couple days. Yeah right doc. you come to my house at 2am and say that!!! I'm praying as I type that tonight will be a better night with less crying and more sleep. Oh and now I am developing a canker sore, yep my body is telling me to slow down and relax!!!!



Did I mention that I am weaning Alexa from breastfeeding? Yep I started that on Sunday and all is going well. I gave her some formula at her mid-morning feeding and you would have thought she had always been given a bottle. Well actually we are not giving it to her in a bottle we are using a sippy cup advice from my mom:) Less work we have to do to get her off a bottle! Thanks mom:) This Sunday I am suppose to take out the nap time feeding but I am not sure how that is going to go if she is still sick....taking it day by day.



Yeah so you could say it's been a busy/hectic week and relaxing just isn't in the vocabulary. Truly though, when is it in the vocabulary of a wife and mom of a almost 4 year old and a 7.5 month old?!! I have to say even though my life is crazy at times I would not change it for the world. I love my life as a wife and mom. Chris has taught me so much one thing in particular is patience. Braden has taught me to live each day as if it's the last and Alexa has taught me to take things one day at a time. I love them all and wouldn't change it for anything!!!

video

So I made a video on http://onetruemedia.com/ of my pregnancy with Alexa up to her birth...wow I think I want another baby! Wait....did I just say that?!

Anyways, it was a lot of making it and it just reminded me how much I went through to get her here safe and sound. As most of you know I had Braden 2 months early so I was watched very closly when I got pregnant with Alexa.

I am starting to make one of Braden so look for that soon!:)

a 3 year old and a 6 month old...

Okay so Braden just loves his little sister, he always has I think it has to do with the fact that once we saw a heartbeat on the us we involved him in the pregnancy. Well his little sister is now 6 months old and he still loves her dearly but man oh man he will yell at her for the simpliest things. Like for instance at lunchtime and at dinner I was feeding her oatmeal and veggie/fruit well as most all 6 months old do they try and grab the bowl from you. I told her no, no and she knocked it down and Braden starts yelling at her!!! It just gets on my nerves because there is no need for him to yell at her. I keep telling him that she is a baby and she doesn't know and it's our job to teach her but we can't yell at her we need to say it nicely, blah, blah, blah. Any other suggestions out there??

They get along great but I don't know it's just been on my last nerves when he yells at her for simple things that babies do. Okay that's my vent for the evening, LOL!

Congrats to Sherry and Sabrina!!

Sherry and Sabrina are Chris' and my two friends who got married last month back east since obviously it's not legal in Arizona(blah!). Tonight we went to their reception they had at their house to celebrate their marriage with all of their friends and family. I think it's great that they have decided to share their life together as a married couple. Some people don't agree but I do! I mean I want you to show me specifically in the Bible where it says that two people of the same sex can't get married?? All I have found is two people who love eachother to get married it dosn't say which two it just says two!! Okay enough of my vent on gay marriage and why I think it's okay to do so. I am just so happy for them and wish them the most of love, happiness and laughter throughout the years!

Congrats my friends!:)